Fear of Marketing

  How do you overcome a fear of marketing? Honestly, I have no idea. Putting myself out there, out into the unknown of the internet and at other people’s mercy is incredibly terrifying. Hell, putting my writing out there also makes me feel incredibly vulnerable, but at least my face and personal life isn't pasted onto the screen there. I'm separate from my writing.

 My writing is different than who I am as a person and that makes me feel safer somehow. Writing is my escape from myself. Writing stories is fun. I don't have to be me at all. I get to create magic and worlds and different characters with differing ideologies than me, just with the tips of my fingers! Its liberating and gorgeous and powerful. 

With that said: how am I overcoming this fear? 

Well, I suppose my dream is bigger. My ambition is my driving force. My need to BE a published author. To Get An Agent. Right now, I'm literally trying to talk myself into getting TicTok.  It feels like everyone is doing it. I guess this is the way authors have to go to be picked up and seen. I hate it. Why, social media gods! Why are you doing this to me? It's also what my sister-in-law told me to do. She's doing it. She's becoming successful! She got an agent, has a book deal. Making it look so easy, being so confident. Slaying everything, she touches. I love her, she's amazing! Confident and so not like me.

When I was a teacher, my first year was (and I still consider this) the worst year of my life. I literally thought I would not survive. My principal sat me down told me that I have to fake confidence. That I could not let my students see they were getting to me. Ha, you know, easier said than done. My second year was better. My principal left for a new school, I got a new one whom I loved with all my heart because she was such an amazing support, and I got to reinvent myself for a new group of kids. But that fake-it-till-you-make-it advice was so crucial. Here I am seven years later and needing the same advice once more. Except it’s me having to tell myself that I can do it. 

I think that's what makes marketing so hard for me, because I have no one to rely on except for myself. I don't have a team (except a supportive husband that can't stand social media and has banished it from his life), and if I'm going to do this than I have to stay committed to my dream. Agents, likewise, are looking to see if they can sell You too. This is the age of social media and I now have to learn to brand myself. And that freaks me out! Am I sellable? Why can't my writing just be good enough? Then there's the thought of being rejected... of not having enough followers.

I hope this post helps someone that is also feeling vulnerable about putting themselves out there. We're all fallible human beings. I know that I am not the best, even though I'm trying every day to be what I consider a good person. I guess I’m writing this post just to tell you that you are not alone in these feelings. And to talk myself into it as well. I can do it! We can do it!

Sigh, and I'm going to have to make a TicTok... 

Happy writing.