Beta Readers

 I finally finished my second revision of my book You See, What Had Happened Was...! Took almost two years, but it's finally revised, cut down and reworked. That feeling of accomplishment, of meeting your goal, is one of the most satisfying feelings I've ever experienced. Now for the first time its out of my hands and off to it's first round of beta reads. I'm truly lucky as a writer to actually have support from another aspiring author (@h.m.rohm on Instagram) and a book-club that will read my work and give me constructive feedback.

I've learned the hard way, as many writers before me, that people enthuse over your accomplishments. They'll say kindly (probably not even realizing that you'll shove your book down their throats when they say) "I'd love to read your book." However when it actually comes to reading your book, they wont. And you'll wait... You'll start imagining all of your fears and doubts, "my book is terrible, it's garbage, the entire thing doesn't make sense!" Then too imaging the validation and adoration you might expect them to experience (trust me, they wont): "Ah, yes! E. J. Gwynne is truly a genius!" Until you finally reach out, and all of that worry comes to nothing, because they never intended (got busy, procrastinated) on reading it in the first place. The trust of opening yourself up to other people is seriously next level chronic anxiety inducing. The pain of disappointment when those same people don't read your book, is enough to cause any author to quit and mourn in a crumbled pile of self pity. Which I have thought about doing on multiple, multiple, occasions. 

This is why I've personally founded a writing group of other aspiring writers and readers. People who you can count on to give you genuine feedback that will help you become a better writer.  Because the goal at the end of the day is not about your pride or your need for validation or self-doubt, it's about your craft. Honing your skills as a writer, working in an extremely isolating profession, making art, and sharing it with others. 

Beta readers help you do that. They help you learn how to craft a readable and marketable story. Because at the end of the day you as a writer are going to have strangers buy, read, and deconstruct your story to the masses. Goodreads, twitter, writing and reading blogs like mine, Amazon reviews...etc. Hopefully everyone is going to have an opinion of your book. Developing the skills of paradoxical introspection and thick skin is one of the most important lessons a writer can learn, and it all starts with beta readers. 

So wish me luck on taking my own advice in the coming weeks as I wait for feedback.